S1 - E4: Stop Worry

Do you find that you’re continually battling with your personal worries? Do these worries distress you because you feel controlled by them or that if you don’t worry then something bad might happen? Do your worries fill your mind when you wake up at night? Lastly, when you’ve started to worry, do you find it almost impossible to stop?

Well you are not alone. There are many people who have these issues with worrying which contributes to anxiety. Chronic worrying is typically influenced by a need to worry to “make sure things will all be OK.” This affects your mood, which can cause detrimental effects on your relationships, work, health and life.

Luckily I have 10 EASY ways to help manage and help keep worrying at bay.

1. Problem Solve vs Worry:

Worrying is actually a very inefficient attempt to problem-solve.

So when you worry, try to utilize your worrying emotions into useful problem solving by simply considering what you need to do now to deal with the problem.

I had a scenario recently where I started worrying about the oil change light coming on on my cars dashboard. I thought to myself, I won't have time for over a week, what if something happens to the engine in that time-frame, and what if when I do go I have to wait for hours and hours. I started creating more and more worries for something so simple and minuscule.

When I realized this, I thought ¨what can I do to resolve my current dilemma?´ So I ended up calling a car service department and made sure I would be able to get an appointment, and to just confirm that coming in the following week would be okay for the car or not. Everything literally went too easeful and smooth but I had begun to worry and blow it WAY out of proportion. SO remember, when you start worrying, turn that into problem solving action to actually resolve your worry.

The next one I cannot stress enough!

2. Don’t waste time on “What if..?” questions:

Don’t waste any time thinking about situations that "might" happen, but in reality are very unlikely to happen – that is a complete misuse of good brain time. Try to realize when you start asking yourself those “What if…?” questions.

Majority of the scenarios you create using this approach will likely never happen – so why waste any time thinking about them?

3. Don’t lie to yourself that worry is always helpful:

Don’t trick yourself into thinking that your worry will always be helpful. If you are someone who is a persistent worrier you’ve probably come to use worrying simply to make yourself THINK that you’re doing something about a problem. This is not an alternative to tackling the problem in practical ways. The only way to actually solve something you´re worrying about is to take action towards a resolution so you can complete it and not even have anything to

worry about anymore.

4. Accept uncertainty:

Uncertainty is a fact of life, so attempt to accept that you will always have to live with some amount of uncertainty. Unexpected things happen all the time, and accepting this sooner will make your life easier and reduce your anxieties.

I would have times I would plan out days way in advance, and sure enough, when that day finally arrived to go visit a friend and go for a hike, other things were at play. A random storm came and the weather decided to rain the whole day. My hike and beach day that I planned out so intricately turned into a lunch and movie day instead. At first I was actually a bit uncomfortable and felt off as I was worrying about my plan I made, but I accepted the fact that things happen and I can simply revise the activities for the day.

5. Always use your inner positivity to lift your mood:

Negative moods fuel worrying. Negative moods include anxiety, sadness, anger, guilt, shame, and even physical states such as tiredness and pain. If you have to worry because a trigger set you off, try not to do so when in negative moods because your worrying will be more difficult to control and more difficult to stop. If you find yourself worrying in a negative mood, immediately try to do something positive and enjoyable to lift your mood. Perhaps go for a walk or some other active activity outside, distract your mind with reading, painting or some kind of hobby to distract yourself. Whatever it may be that you enjoy, do that to change your mood to a more positive mood so you have more control of your feelings.

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6. Do NOT try to suppress unwanted worries:

When you do start to worry – don’t try and combat or control those thoughts. It is helpful to feel and accept them rather than try to suppress them, because trying to suppress thoughts simply makes them two times as worse when they creep their way back into our mind! So acknowledge those worrisome thoughts but then continue on to doing something more productive and useful.

7. Set out time for you to worry:

Become a “scheduled” worrier. If you find that worrying can be useful for certain issue resolution, but that it just gets out of control and overwhelming, then try to manage your worry by scheduling out specific times of the day to allow yourself to worry. I will sometimes set out 20 mins of time during the midday to worry about things. But also remember to take the time to calm yourself when this allotment of time is over, in order to get yourself back into balance and back on track with a positive easeful mindset.

8. Change that “What if…?” worries to “How can I…?” worries:

In order to manage your worries, you need to be able to comprehend exactly what they are. Try to keep a worry diary for a week or so. Write down every worry when it occurs, with a simple sentence to describe it. Then later in the day, see how many of these worries you logged are “What if…?” type questions. As I mentioned earlier, “What if..?” worries are not helpful. You can try to turn these worries into “How can I…? worries, which are much more likely to lead you to more practical solutions.

I had a scenario when I was logging my worries where I began to worry and have some anxiety thinking, ¨what if I forget to take my ipad home with me that I left in the locker¨ This worry became almost overwhelming because I needed the ipad to do some work later that night. I ended realizing I need to look at it as ¨How can I make sure I don't forget my ipad, and a simple, and i mean very simple resolution to this worry was to simply set an alarm on my phone for exact time I was leaving to remind myself not to leave the ipad. Thus, my problem was solved in the most simple of ways.

9. DO not lose sleep from worrying: Much too often your worries may disrupt your sleep. You may find your brain running through every possible problem that could arise and then attempting to think of solutions. All this will do is keep you awake longer, you’ll end up feeling tired, as well as anxious the next day. One solution to the worries that keep you awake at night is an easy one. Simply keep a pen and paper next to your bed. When you wake up during the night with a worrying thought, just write a list of the things on your mind that you need to do tomorrow, or whatever the worry is in general. You’ll probably find that once that worrisome thought has been written down, you now have no need to keep thinking about it. You can go back to sleep and deal with the thought tomorrow.

10. Keep your mind in the moment:

Spending most of your time worrying about things that could happen in the future means that you’ll spend much less time enjoying the present and experiencing the moment. Of course you need to acknowledge the worries that cross your mind, but don’t entertain them. Refocus your mind on what you are doing at that very moment and continue to live in the present without any worrisome thoughts.

I find that I still have times that my worrying thoughts overwhelm me and I end up having to deal with the mental exhaustion and physical side effects, BUT practicing these 10 simple ways to manage my worrying has definitely helped me with having MUCH less of those overwhelming worrisome thoughts and I am able to get my mind back on track enjoying the moment and being happy.

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