S1-E1: NOT Caring What Other People Think!

Hello readers and welcome to, ¨Be Truly You¨. Here is your weekly Tuesday episode blog post, with today´s topic being, NOT caring what other people think!

I know, I know, you are thinking you already don´t care what others think, and make your own choice to be happy and do what you want to do. Well, SURPRISE, whether you realize it or not, there are occasions where you will do, or not do, what you´d like to do because you are concerned about what others are thinking about you.

Regardless of why, there are times we base our actions or choices based on what we assume others may think or how they may react.

This results in us not truly doing what we want to do, or making a decision we are not completely happy with.

Have you ever done something with the anticipation of having fun or completely enjoying it, or by taking the opinions of a trusted friend or family member?

I firmly believe that it is important to get feedback from others close to you, but this feedback should only be used and seen as constructive, because at the end of the day, you are your own individual, and what someone else thinks should not hold power over you.

Growing up I was not the most confident kid. Like many others I was made fun, relentlessly. I was laughed at for having a mustache at the age of 11. I was teased because I could not play sports very well as I did not have an interest in any physical activity. I did not have a deep voice. I sounded like a girl. My idea of a good time when I was 13 was seeing how far I could jump off of a swing while swinging super high in the air, or playing with crayfish in the creek by our house. This was not “normal” behavior of a preteen. Why wasn't I playing football or watching sports on TV?

My perception to all this became: If I do something different from everyone else and you’ll be berated. It's Better to fit in instead.

Unfortunately because of this, I allowed a lot of opportunities to pass me by, simply because I cared too much about what other people would think or say. I would often not be true to myself, or do the things that would make me happy, out of fear of how other people might react. I stopped doing those “things¨ everyone made fun of me for, and conformed to the standards. I started to dress differently. Act differently. And hideaway at home.

Perhaps you can relate: When was the last time you didn’t do what you wanted because you cared more about what other people would think? Or even, how many times in the past and growing up did I do as such.

After thinking about it, probably more than you´d like to admit

So now that I am 32 and much more confident, though not immune to hatred. Many still voice their negative opinions about me, my lifestyle, and my looks (because sometimes I grow out my beard and people like to have a say in that). I don’t enjoy going out on weekends to clubs and getting wasted. My personal opinions about life, views on minimizing our negative impact on the environment, and my health and fitness ideas are all ridiculous as I encourage them to try a lifestyle change that revolves around leaving less pollution, eating healthier and time-consuming workout programs and choose to be BETTER instead.

On top of that, living in this age of social media, people are more open to giving their negative 2 cents and sharing their opinions without any disregard. Negativity has started expanding and holding a deeper impact.

We must stop caring about what others think and make the changes we care about and live as we want!

Here are some easy ways which I like to remember to not care about what others think:

1. When someone shares a negative comment it is more about THEM then it is about YOU:

A few years ago I had a realization. The people who like to make hateful comments, must have a pretty crappy life. Why would anyone who is happy and creating a worthwhile life make time to do simply be hateful?

The hateful comments I receive are a reflection of that person, not directly on me. Just like in school, but now with adults and their empowerment of social media.

So when I receive non constructive and hateful comments, I view the individual differently than I did previously. No longer do I get upset, and I most certainly do not take their sly comments and opinions to heart. Instead, I now take pity on whoever is spending the one life they get, expressing themselves in such a vile way, towards people they don’t even know. It’s unfortunate that some people do not have anything better to do in their day, than try to tear others down.

2. Be true to yourself:

I know, this seems like ´well yeah Timothy, aren't you captain obvious. But I did not realize this until after graduating school into my late 20s.

Now I live my life to be honest, live my truth, and as straight-forward as possible in life, just like (on this podcast) because I only way to connect with people as myself and not a false individual. Many see this as crazy. I know this to be different. I am following my passion and sharing my story and, hopefully, helping others in doing so.

Finally, once I stopped caring and allowing too much influence regarding what other people thought and followed my heart, my life finally began to get better and I became happier and healthier. Don't ever underestimate the amazing power and freedom that fills you when you promise to being truly you.

3. You get one life, you cannot go back to make changes:

One thing I hear far too often is, I wish I would have done this differently, or I wish I knew then what I know now, so I could have chosen to be happier.

Everyone's story ends the same, so why do we waste so much of our life doing things for others and holding back and not doing what we truly love and what makes us happy? I may be uncomfortable to think about, but the fact is, we will all die at some point. But if we actually understand this, and choose to live each day as it could be our last, we can live making choices that make us happy!

When you can finally accept this, it will give you the realization that you do only get one life to live, and cannot get your time back, so it gets much easier to not care what others think and live a life true to yourself.

4. Imagine what thing you are so eager to do, but perceptions and assumptions of what others think, makes you uncomfortable and self-conscious. What is that Thing:

What is the something that REALLY holds you back? What is it that you want to do, but every time you gain some momentum to do it, you don't follow through.

What I want you to do is ask yourself this; What is the absolute worst thing if you actually do, whatever that one thing you are so eager to do.

I´ve had many people tell me that they are uncomfortable and intimidated to workout at the gym because of what others will think about them.

Well I say, who cares. So maybe you will get some stares, maybe you will get people who talk about you, maybe people will be able to tell you're trying something new. Is all of that actually THAT bad that it should stop you, NO.

I have a friend who for years, was scared and unsure about going to the gym because of what others may think of her, or because she was unsure on what to do and how to do it. But now, a year later, she is 85 lbs leaner and in the best shape and health of her life because she realized, all these doubts she came up with in her mind, were not really that bad.

She will actually be a guest on a future episode so you will be able to hear some personal insights from her!

So what we should REALLY be asking ourselves is: What is the worst possible thing that will happen if we do not do the things that make us happy simply because we’re concerned with what others will say and think?

If we live life hiding behind what we think others will say and think we won’t do the things that truly make us happy, and won’t live our life to the fullest. How sad is that? I know this personally, because I’ve done this in the past. I’ve held myself back from doing the things I wanted, completely because I was too concerned with imagining what others would think and thus I missed out on SO many opportunities as a result. HECK, I spent almost two decades of my life trying to hide that I was attracted to men because where I come from, because being gay can come with talk and judgement.

I urge you, the next time you’re hesitant to do something or take that risk because you are uncomfortable or afraid of what other people will think, just STOP and ASK yourself, “What is the worst case scenario if I do this?” More times than not it’s really not THAT bad. And I can practically guarantee you, you will be even worse off if you do or don’t do things based on being more concerned with what others will think.

Let's not get older and say to ourselves: ´If I could go back in time, I would do things differently, things that would have made me happier¨

5. STOP being negative, and remove all negative sources in your life:

Purge the negative, toxic people and thoughts from your life. If there are people who have a tendency for starting drama, avoid them. If your friends have the tendency to bring you down, then disconnect yourself from them and look elsewhere for more supportive friends.

I once made the mistake of taking someone’s comment personally and it really got me in a saddened mindset for a good part of the day. When things happen like this, remember to not take it personal. The way you live your life will be very different than how another might. So as long as you’re living your truth and are happy, that’s all that matters.

6. Trust a select few, forget about the rest:

Having a few close and trusted friends to give constructive criticism when needed is important. Living life the way you want ultimately is what will make your life full of happiness but we need those select few at times.

I can count on one hand the people I consider to be close and value their insights. Everyone else, they’re just people who I enjoy spending time with, but don’t pay attention to their comments.

7. Not everyone will like you and that’s okay:

Do not waste any time or energy trying to be friends with everyone and attempting to be on good terms with everyone. That is something that is impossible!

Instead, concentrate on you and your growth into a better person and a life of fulfillment.

Share your talents with the world, travel the world, fight for a cause. Whatever makes you happy and gives your life purpose, concentrate on that.

If you practice these 7 life tips, I can guarantee you, you’ll be on the road to a happier life and living a life you’re passionate about.

Keep in mind that we can slip up and become those negative sources. If you find yourself judging or talking about others, simply stop. Be that positive light in the world that even influences others.

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#happiness #happy #betrulyou #behappy #individual